Religion vs. Spirituality – We Each Have Our Path

25 Jul 2010 3 Comments

by Jennifer "Jay" Bull in Meditations, Musings Tags: Dianic, Jay Bull, Jayble, pagan, Religion vs. Spirituality, Wiccan

I think that once you realize that all religions provide a construct or a pathway to the Divine things become a bit easier.  Once you eschew religion for spirituality, things become easier still.

Once upon a time, I interviewed for Nightlife Dr. Paul Mundschenk, a professor at Western Illinois University in the Religious Studies program, who was giving a lecture titled “Spiritual, but Not Really Religious: Help for the Nation, Hope for Humankind” where he tackled the difference between spirituality and religion.  His thought, and I agree, is that religion divides, but spirituality unites.

One of the examples Mundschenk used was in reference to a child coming out to his parents about his sexual orientation.  The family disowns the son but upon discovery that he is dying of AIDS, the family reconciles with their son shortly prior to his death.  Obviously traumatic for the family in question, this type of over-adherence to a specific religious ideology caused a rift that actually went against the heart or spirituality of this family.

Part of being human is the ability and desire to ask questions about our existence, and religion helps answer these questions.  According to Mundschenk, religion allows for a source outside of ourselves to help provide answers to these questions.  In this way religion can be beneficial, but the problem in religion comes when religions start adhering to a policy of exclusivity.   Spirituality is different in that ideally, spirituality shows us to be connected to each other, each of us part something greater.  This type of spirituality does not need to be found in a remote monastery, but can be found sitting on a park bench or anywhere else.

With spirituality, there is a feeling that we are all in this together, we are all brothers and sisters, regardless of religious ideology.  Mundschenk’s hope for humankind is that in the centuries to come, a meeting of spirituality and religion can help overcome religious exclusivity.

To that end, I believe that those of us who believe in a greater power, the Divine High Muckety Muck, God, Goddess, any higher power, are on a path to connect with that Grand High Poobah.  Sometimes we walk our path with others, sometimes we walk our path alone, sometimes we have to backtrack our way on this path and veer off in alternate directions, and sometimes we have to take out our machete a hack a new path.  The path chosen is a very individualized and very personal thing.

It has taken me years to realize that the path I should follow cannot be decided by anyone else.  People may guide you, they may walk with you for a time, but even the best intentioned friend may have ulterior motives for their advice, so ultimately, the path you travel has to be one you decide upon.  Otherwise, you end up unhappy, having to backtrack, or completely lost in the world.  While I have made fun of people who have gone out “to find themselves” (the jokes here are endless) I do think there is a germ of truth in that idea.  Sometimes you must leave everyone behind in order for the noise and chaos to subside.  In the quiet, the Path often becomes clear.

One of the things I have noticed lately is a certain disdain people show for others who happen to be on different paths.  I think people’s inherent biases and prejudices are often shown in how they respond to the paths of others.  Many on the pagan path have anger at those on the Christian path.  Often this is because during childhood they were force fed dogma that killed their spirit instead of freeing it.  However, there are many, many Christians who happily live their lives while walking their Christian Path who are not dogmatic, unfriendly, or close-minded.  Yet they get lumped into this category of “unacceptable” because of the scars left from others classified under this huge umbrella term.

If you think about it, this is the equivalent of hating a particular race because one member of that race beat you up once.  If you hated all people of a race for something a few people did, then you are called a racist, and rightfully so.  Hating an entire religious group for the oppression or damage of a specific church or upbringing is much the same thing.

While Christianity is always the go to example for something like this, what prompted me to write about this is the disdain pagans often feel towards each other.  As if we don’t have enough crap to deal with from the mainstream.  I’ve heard complaints about the Gardnerians/British Traditional Witchcraft (sex perverts), Dianics (ball busting lesbians), Asatru (racist neoNazis), Eclectic Wiccans (lazy/flaky) and the list goes on and on and on.  Why?  Why tear down each other when so many people outside of our umbrella term of pagan are more than happy to do it for us?

Part of the reason many people choose a branch of paganism is because they were turned off by the dogmatic religious upbringing of their youth.  For others it is the path that makes the most sense to them.  However, oftentimes people are merely exchanging one set of dogmatic beliefs for another.  My best example, one that I’ve heard a million times from a million different sources, is the dogmatic disdain many pagans hold for Dianics.

Much of this disdain is sexism – anytime a group of women get together and exclude men, the bitching and whining commences.  It doesn’t matter what the rationale used is, or what the bitching comprises, the core issue is that women supporting women without the need or desire for the help of men is always going to cause problems.  I’ve heard that Dianics hate men (I’ve told my happily married Dianic friends that they are doing it wrong, but they just reply that they love their husbands), or they are unbalanced (after all worshipping only the Goddess makes you unstable, but all of those monotheists out there worshipping God apparently are fine, my personal theory here is that maybe the vagina causes some sort of inner ear disturbance that can only be solved with a penis), or any number of crazy or outlandish things.

Most of the disparaging comments I’ve heard about Dianics involve this idea that Dianics are somehow unbalanced through working with only the feminine aspect of the divine.  This is dogma.  Believing that another person is wrong in how they approach communing with the divine simply because it does not adhere to what you think, believe or have been taught is religion coming in and shutting down spirituality.

What if the Dianics provide balance in the world?  After all, how many millions of people are praying to one male deity through monotheism?

What if in a past life a Dianic was male, spent their life living in a monastery with other men, and believed and prayed to a male god exclusively?  Maybe they are Dianic this time around to balance out their spirit.

What if they lived in a male dominated society, where the male gaze was all important, where there had never been a female president due to sexism, where women were paid less than men for the same work, where women’s rights to reproductive health are constantly challenged?  Maybe living in such a world is balanced out through their belief system.

Maybe it doesn’t matter if another person’s religion is balanced in your view.  Maybe it is each individual’s right to believe how they choose.

Another person’s spiritual path depends upon so many things – from how the person was raised, to their past lives, to their spiritual experiences, epiphanies and revelations, to many other factors.  Humans are complex creatures.

I think as pagans we should stop looking at the world and each other through the lens of religion and more through the eyes of spirituality.  While I may not want to participate in a skyclad ritual around a bonfire, I understand the need for others to express themselves in such a manner.  Just because some practices or beliefs are not my cup of tea does not mean that I do not see the benefit of it for others.

The next time you hear one pagan bashing the practices of another pagan, try to remember that religion divides and spirituality unites.  My common response is often, “Well, it works for her, so who am I to complain?”