Do You Really Believe That?
21 Apr 2011 3 Comments
in Musings
As a professional tarot reader and Reiki master, I often hear the question, “So, do you really believe in all that?” This question is one of the more annoying and pervasive questions I am asked., in no small part because it is usually tinged with disbelief or disdain.
The phrasing of the question usually means the person asking it either thinks I am a fraud/con artist or that they think I am a superstitious whack-job. Also, this question is always the first line in what is going to be an argument. As I never say no to this question, because I do have a belief system and I am not a con artist, I am always pelted with follow up questions designed to show me the error of my ways. In my early 20′s I would argue vehemently about why I believed my beliefs and the various ways and means I came to believe them, but in my late 30′s, I usually choose not to play this little game.
The thing is, when dealing with someone who asks this question, nine times out of ten the person is not seeking actual answers or explanations, but rather to further their own disbelief at my expense. I’ve never really understood this knee-jerk need in people to say, “I don’t believe in anything and you shouldn’t either!” My father was an atheistic, but he felt that if religion or spirituality brought people peace or comfort, then good for them.
This question is part of why I no longer bring my tarot cards to parties or gatherings of friends. I love to read for my friends and help them out, but inevitably, my friends want to “show me off” to someone new in the group (what can I do? my friends think I’m awesome) and I end up reading for someone who is not exactly open to the experience. They start off with The Question during the beginning part of the reading – this means that I am already defensive and irritated. While I have tried to quell this, when I read for people who are openly hostile towards me, I tend not to care at all about their reading. I throw my cards down, say whatever comes to mind, and talk fast to get the experience over with quickly.
My attitude is usually along the lines of “I’m not your little monkey – I do not have to dance if I do not want to do so.” I’ve been reading tarot for a long time – I no longer feel the need to prove myself to anyone. The up side of this is that these readings usually end up being really accurate because I do not filter what I say to spare the person’s feelings. When doing a reading for someone, you don’t want to tell them the really bad news without cushioning it a bit. People should feel better and lighter after a psychic reading. However, when I am reading tarot for free at a party and I am forced to deal with someone who obviously thinks very little of me, I am comfortable telling them whatever comes through the cards unfiltered. The really annoying part is that these readings are usually the most accurate.
If you ask most professional psychic readers what their biggest challenge is in giving an accurate reading, they will tell you that it is getting out of their own way. There are many times during a reading where the words that I am saying or the perceptions of the cards I have make absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. However, if I stop trying to make it make sense to me and just say what I am seeing, it almost always makes sense to the client. My own perceptions and my own reality have nothing to do with the client’s reality, so it only makes sense that the information I am given will have very little context for me. That said, it is still very difficult to tell someone something that from your perspective makes little to no sense.
The good news is that through reading at parties for a friend of a friend who is openly hostile, since I do not bother to pull my punches or filter anything I say, my readings are usually right on the money. The hostile person usually is a little bit disarmed by the reading, but still being skeptical will want to know if they are being conned – is this an elaborate practical joke? My friends are awesome, so they are usually on hand to say, “I didn’t tell her anything – I swear!”
Every time this scenario occurs I feel a little bit guilty. In these situations I do not try too hard to do an accurate reading because I am offended that someone – someone who is getting a totally free tarot reading – is not only being hostile towards me, but thinks that they have a right to make me prove myself to them. I rarely feel the need to prove myself to people I like and respect – endeavoring to win the approval of a person who is contemptuous of me has always felt like a huge waste of time and effort. Why bother? They already have contempt. Might as well go read a good book.
I try to keep in mind that all life situations are learning opportunities. After many parties with many hostile people, I’ve come to understand that during a reading, I need to get out of my own way. I’ve also come to realize that many people who start off hostile towards me actually want to believe, but they have no reason or proof for doing so. Maybe spiritual belief has kicked them around some or maybe they are just cynical or afraid of disappointment. It can be a hard life sometimes and that difficulty shakes spiritual faith, but once an accurate tarot reading has been given, the tone of the questions change from open mockery to that of a more seeking nature. The questions of seekers often lead to really great conversations, even if they go back to being cynical disbelievers the very next day.
Apr 22, 2011 @ 03:18:48
Interesting article but I cant help wonder why on earth you agree to do these readings or ask your friends not to put you in this position.
Apr 22, 2011 @ 04:51:16
Actually, I think it was only a sentence in there, but I no longer do readings at parties of friends. I just don’t bring my tarot deck with me. I’ve likened it to if you are an accountant people don’t expect you to do their taxes at parties for free.
The main point I was trying to make was that even when situations are frustrating there is something good that comes out it. Lessons can be learned through most things that are annoying, it seems.
Apr 23, 2011 @ 12:23:36
I’ve never brought my cards to parties when they weren’t requested, so maybe that’s why I haven’t run into this question much. But I did recently, when getting together with some old friends whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. The question came from someone who is now a scientist. I think this person was trying to reconcile his neccesity to be “rationale” and, (from what he knew of me in the past and observed of me in the present) my apparent level-headedness with my interest in Tarot. It was asked in a good-natured, even a bit hesitant (trying not to offend me) way. My response was a short laugh and then I said something like “I guess you would never think of me as someone who got into psychic stuff (he laughed too). With me it’s not a “believing” in Tarot. It’s more like I found out it works. I don’t know why it works, but neither do we know a lot of the “whys” in science. So, like physicists, for example, who don’t know all the answers to the whys in quantum physics, I use it because it works. I also used it because it seems to help people.” End of discussion.